life is a cycle

hii! after creating this blog website for around 3 years, i think i should post at least once or twice haha. so the way i see life is that its a cycle. Things that we do previously will somehow catch up to our lives and we will have to face them head on anyways. In primary school, i had absolutely detested every single moment in there and hoped that i could start anew in secondary school. And yes it kinda worked, only for that 4 years. In JC, i met so many of my primary sch ppl again, be it in my sch or otw or common friends. Its hard to shake off the past no matter how hard i try, because as much as we dont like it, our past does define us to a certain extent. Not saying that our past is of paramount importance, but it shouldnt be taken lightly too.

However, in order to keep going, we need to move on too. As the saying goes "you cant move on to a new chapter if you keep rereading the previous one." So yes, we must carry on our daily lives and not remain stagnent with our current situation. from what i have experienced, i learnt and grew from the mistakes and issues i've faced in the past and all these make me react very differently frm before. An experience in particular, made me more wary of people whom i feel "good vibes" frm and to be more careful of what's going on around me. It has translated into my daily life; my past can be seen in the way i behave today. So this is the whole paradox of the situation: we cant escape the past but we got to move on. 

There are so many times when i wished that i had no done this or done that in the past bc i know that there will be consequences and repercussions. Sometimes i act rashly only to regret later and by then the full force of what follows has already hit me straight in the face. And i guess life is all about making mistakes and falling then standing up again for yet another battle but this time more knowledged than before and you might just be facing this same old momster that had defeated you ages ago. 

I'll dont think that life is ever straightforward and easy,, in a way all these challenges we face makes living worthwhile. We need to survive amidst the storm that passes us relentlessly so that we will appreciate the little calm moments in between. So while i am definitely not v happy with everything i have in life right now, i just want to take this time to reflect a little so that i can see the bigger picture. Whenever we are sad or down, our point of view our scope gets v narrow till we neglect to see better alternatives, it has happened to me before countless times and yet im still here so i know that i have at least become just a little stronger and a little more knowledged than before. 

I'll end off with this quote from looking for alaska one of my absolute favs:" how will i ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?"